Is that your granddaughter? A question that I’ve been asked twice in the last past month. Also, a question that I’m tired of being asked.
In this day and age of women who have waited to have a career and then focus on a family, I can’t believe I’m asked this question. In a country where celebrities such as Jane Seymour can have twins at the age of forty-four, do we really still think that giving birth is for the young and twenty-somethings only?
While my two older daughters are eighteen and fifteen, that does not mean that a new baby in my home also means that one of them must have given birth. Pardon me folks–but the plumbing is still in working condition! And what is this saying about my daughters? That’s not how things run in my household. So there is no way that either of them would have a child at their age.
These days women are made to feel like they’ve done something wrong by becoming pregnant later in their lifetime. Even the medical world makes it sound as if it’s a dark day to be pregnant and over the age of thirty-five. We are labeled, “AMA” Advanced Maternal Age. That should be a good thing. We’ve come so far, and done so much in our lives and yes, we are still capable of creating life. How about, “High Risk”? I understand the odds do increase after that thirty-fifth birthday, but any pregnancy can be high risk.
However true it is, it doesn’t make you feel any younger when you hear those comments for what seems like everyday, for nine months straight. We have enough to worry about with the baby in general. Then we finally experience one of the greatest moments in our live and our little bundle of joy has arrived. We’re feeling good. Looking decent as we possibly can look, with a newborn and very little sleep. We we finally get the nerve to venture back out into the world, do we really need the added comments from strangers asking us, “Is that your grandchild?” or “Who’s baby is that?” What are you saying? After thirty-five, you can be a sexy cougar, but you can’t have a baby. We’re older people, but we still have feelings. If you cut us, do we not bleed? Or were you expecting dust?
So to all those people out there who think having a baby after you reach thirty-five is some kind of dark, and mystic miracle, I really just have to say…EXCUSE ME, BUT I’M NOT TO OLD FOR MOTHERHOOD! Now I feel a little better.